.....it is a perfect day if you are able to utilize/internalize the things that one thinks should be thought upon as negative in a positive way. I CAN do that. In the wake of a crazy persons actions, a sick persons outcome and a million other moments that have not gone right, I still feel positive, I still feel inspired, I still feel. Maybe these kinds of events make one look deeper than normal into themselves. Feel deeper into that pocket of life and pull out the lint that is actually still usable and ready for something else.
I woke up at 7am this morning. I made two coffees, one for me and one for my husband. Zelda joined us around 7:30. I showered. I made Zelda lunch and all of our breakfasts. I took Zelda to her activity club and then ran errands. I walked home in the warm rainy mist. I made lunch for Ian and I and then it was time to pick up Zelda.
We took a trip to the house. We learned that the space upstairs in the loft was not going to be large enough to accommodate a shower. After discussing the problem with the builder, we found a solution. We offered to pay for the reworking of the area to make it what we wanted, but he said No!!! He told us he would take the "hit" and that he wanted to do a job that left us happy and and then he could be happy too. No way in France would this ever have been possible. It would always have been our fault and we would have to pay for our mistake. I know. It happened to us in Nice!
I screamed " AHHHHYEEE" when I walked into the house. My gorgeous beast of a range had been installed and it looked fantastic! I can not wait to get my pans/ hands on it! The rain cleared up and the sun came out. The downstairs was filled with a gorgeous sun light and perfumed air from the garden. Zelda and I played little lost kitten in the garden!
Once home, Ian took the cat to the vet. We now have to feed her force fed in order to make her start to eat. She is playing with life number 9 now! So off I go to wrap her in a to well and fill the syringe with food and make her swallow. If this works, she will live also in a perfumed garden, before she departs this world. In the words of a Zen master and my husband..." I bow down to the dust". We will not let her life pass because it is too much effort to make her live. It is too much effort to let her die.
Wednesday, 27 July 2011
Saturday, 23 July 2011
Saturday
Life in Durham could not be more perfect!
The sun shines brightly from noon onwards after a spell of clouds and cool temperatures. As the day goes on, the clouds go away and pure blue sky peeps out and remains until darkness takes over. It is not too hot, I am still wearing a vest, black cotton long sleeve shirt and a cashmere cardigan over lightly velveteen flower patterned leggings. I am at the Botanical gardens with a great friend, her husbands 7 year old daughter and Zelda. WE are picnicking, the girls are running around in the trees, making water bottle terrariums with plants and flowers, finding huge Alice in Wonderland Mushrooms, and screaming TIGER!!! We are lying on the rug, occasionally glancing upwards, catching a charging child in our laps, eating quiche, chocolate ( 70% dark!) , pears, apples and drinking coffee. It is not difficult to soak up the perfume of the garden, relax into the green green freshly mowed lawns, be lulled to sleep by the sun and the tinkling of the water fountain. I do just that, while Zelda, her friend and my friend take an hour long walk through the trails and forest and plants. After ten days of looking after Zelda alone, this is my ME time and I am so enjoying it!
At 11 am my friend arrived with C and she was in her PJ's, so was Zelda, it was a hoot! The girls ate biscuits, played dress up and barbies and occupied themselves in the garden until the sun put his hat on and it was time to go! We drank tea and coffee and chatted away.
After the gardens we went back to my friends parents house. I love it there. Her parents are so welcoming and genuine. I feel like a part of the family. They are Quakers. I love the Quaker style! I have been intrigued by the Quaker philosophy since reading a book in my book club that had a main character who was a Quaker.
Yesterday was the opening of the new Egyptian Gallery dedicated to Learning for school children. I worked on creating the new learning resources for school for this gallery and helped with the preparations of the gallery itself. The opening was really lovely and I met a lot of nice people. I was proud to be a part of it all. The curator gave a speech and at the end I was thanked along with the other volunteers who also helped. All I need now is a paying job!
I am feeling still ever positive about living here, ever grateful for being able to live here and ever blessed to be among the beauty of the place, both through the people and its landscape.
THANK YOU!
The sun shines brightly from noon onwards after a spell of clouds and cool temperatures. As the day goes on, the clouds go away and pure blue sky peeps out and remains until darkness takes over. It is not too hot, I am still wearing a vest, black cotton long sleeve shirt and a cashmere cardigan over lightly velveteen flower patterned leggings. I am at the Botanical gardens with a great friend, her husbands 7 year old daughter and Zelda. WE are picnicking, the girls are running around in the trees, making water bottle terrariums with plants and flowers, finding huge Alice in Wonderland Mushrooms, and screaming TIGER!!! We are lying on the rug, occasionally glancing upwards, catching a charging child in our laps, eating quiche, chocolate ( 70% dark!) , pears, apples and drinking coffee. It is not difficult to soak up the perfume of the garden, relax into the green green freshly mowed lawns, be lulled to sleep by the sun and the tinkling of the water fountain. I do just that, while Zelda, her friend and my friend take an hour long walk through the trails and forest and plants. After ten days of looking after Zelda alone, this is my ME time and I am so enjoying it!
At 11 am my friend arrived with C and she was in her PJ's, so was Zelda, it was a hoot! The girls ate biscuits, played dress up and barbies and occupied themselves in the garden until the sun put his hat on and it was time to go! We drank tea and coffee and chatted away.
After the gardens we went back to my friends parents house. I love it there. Her parents are so welcoming and genuine. I feel like a part of the family. They are Quakers. I love the Quaker style! I have been intrigued by the Quaker philosophy since reading a book in my book club that had a main character who was a Quaker.
Yesterday was the opening of the new Egyptian Gallery dedicated to Learning for school children. I worked on creating the new learning resources for school for this gallery and helped with the preparations of the gallery itself. The opening was really lovely and I met a lot of nice people. I was proud to be a part of it all. The curator gave a speech and at the end I was thanked along with the other volunteers who also helped. All I need now is a paying job!
I am feeling still ever positive about living here, ever grateful for being able to live here and ever blessed to be among the beauty of the place, both through the people and its landscape.
THANK YOU!
Friday, 15 July 2011
Friday
I think I might be contagious. Lovinn life has bit me and it may just bite you too!
Sit down next to me. Kiss me, smell me, hold my hand. It is alright, I am contagious, but it wont hurt.I promise!
It is raining out. The sky is grey. The drops are small but loud. I love the music. It calms me down and makes me think. It makes me dream. It makes me feel.
My cat is dying. She is 17 years old and has lived as many lives as one could possibly dream of living. She is a miracle in the making. She Is.
This is a scenario that has happened over and over many times. Approximately 9. I guess it is time. She has traveled from New York City to France by plane. Within France she has lived in three different places. Next she ventured to England, by car! She has had 4 breasts removed, one lump and been force fed with a syringe and by hand. She still lives. That is truly desire to live and to be. To have a perfect day every day til she can not have any more. I will continue to help her to stay here and now. I hope she continues to want to.
I love this cat. If she can think,I think she loves me and loves life as much as I do. As I type these words, the organ music from the ancient church behind my home bellows. It is surprisingly moody and fitting.
On my way to my new house this morning , a squirrel was in the middle of the road. It had been hit by a car. I would say within 5 minutes of my finding it. There was blood around its mouth, otherwise it was in perfect condition, aside from being dead. Many people passed it and made faces, but no one did anything. I looked for a stick so that I could move it out of the middle of the road and onto the side for safety. I cried afterwards. I do not think I have been that close to death before. It was a beautiful creature. Its fur was so soft and silky. Its shape so perfect. Its color, glamorous, and it matched my hair!
Go on, catch this bug. In the face of death, love life.
Tuesday, 5 July 2011
Tuesday
5:45 am my lovely little Zelda came at me armed with a book, a banana and the words, " is it morning yet?". What a perfect way to start the day!
6:00 am and radio 4 kicked in.
6:15 and my alarm went off.
Ok Ok I was already up!
I went downstairs and played coffee maid and then got into the shower. I was leaving early as I had to be at my volunteer job by 9 am. It was the start of yet another 2 days workshop for two primary schools in Newcastle.
I had a lovely relaxing commute on a big train with lots of room. I drank an espresso and read the paper. Prefect time two!
The day went fine, but I was disappointed in the lack of preparedness by the schools for this workshop. I can not complain, I am just a volunteer, but at the same time I have had an enormous role in the planning of this project and I want it to be as successful as possible. Can you blame a gal for taking her volunteer job seriously???
I rushed to catch the train to get back to Durham in time to get Zelda from School. We then walked to the leisure center for Zelda's swimming lessons. We stopped along the way for an ice cream. A very important pre condition before swimming! I was very impressed to see that Zelda was given an orange cap, and her red one was taken away. She was now in Stage 2. She had moved up a step! I really felt like one of those glowing parents who say " hey, have you seen my kid? Look at my kid, look at my kid". ( said with a Brooklyn accent) Perfect times 3.
After the lesson we walked home. A small explosion occurred when Zelda was told she could not watch any TV tonight due to her behavior last night. I ignored this explosion, and carried on with my cleaning. It worked, it passed and everything was fine. Perfect times 4!
Did I mention that when I was changing Zelda into her swimsuit, I noticed her entire body was scribbled over in blue pen???? I asked,??" " when, where , why? She smiled, said this morning and had no explanation for the Why! Oh well...Anyway, after dinner I scrubbed her stomach and chest with cream and soap. It is not all gone, but it has faded somewhat! I like that she is creative!
I read to zelda, shut out the light and snuggled her to sleep. It took only 15 minutes. Perfect time 5!
Time check: 8:07, a glass of white by my side, and I am happy as could be. A mother today over heard me talking about moving. she got upset and said, " your leaving|?? We are losing you?" I replied, " No way. I am never leaving. How perfect is that? Pretty damn perfect I say!
6:00 am and radio 4 kicked in.
6:15 and my alarm went off.
Ok Ok I was already up!
I went downstairs and played coffee maid and then got into the shower. I was leaving early as I had to be at my volunteer job by 9 am. It was the start of yet another 2 days workshop for two primary schools in Newcastle.
I had a lovely relaxing commute on a big train with lots of room. I drank an espresso and read the paper. Prefect time two!
The day went fine, but I was disappointed in the lack of preparedness by the schools for this workshop. I can not complain, I am just a volunteer, but at the same time I have had an enormous role in the planning of this project and I want it to be as successful as possible. Can you blame a gal for taking her volunteer job seriously???
I rushed to catch the train to get back to Durham in time to get Zelda from School. We then walked to the leisure center for Zelda's swimming lessons. We stopped along the way for an ice cream. A very important pre condition before swimming! I was very impressed to see that Zelda was given an orange cap, and her red one was taken away. She was now in Stage 2. She had moved up a step! I really felt like one of those glowing parents who say " hey, have you seen my kid? Look at my kid, look at my kid". ( said with a Brooklyn accent) Perfect times 3.
After the lesson we walked home. A small explosion occurred when Zelda was told she could not watch any TV tonight due to her behavior last night. I ignored this explosion, and carried on with my cleaning. It worked, it passed and everything was fine. Perfect times 4!
Did I mention that when I was changing Zelda into her swimsuit, I noticed her entire body was scribbled over in blue pen???? I asked,??" " when, where , why? She smiled, said this morning and had no explanation for the Why! Oh well...Anyway, after dinner I scrubbed her stomach and chest with cream and soap. It is not all gone, but it has faded somewhat! I like that she is creative!
I read to zelda, shut out the light and snuggled her to sleep. It took only 15 minutes. Perfect time 5!
Time check: 8:07, a glass of white by my side, and I am happy as could be. A mother today over heard me talking about moving. she got upset and said, " your leaving|?? We are losing you?" I replied, " No way. I am never leaving. How perfect is that? Pretty damn perfect I say!
Sunday, 3 July 2011
Weekend
When life gives you a bloody nose, you gotta get back in the game, hop on the saddle and ride your bike like it never happened. If you do this, the perfect day is yours!
Friday was a very busy day. I went into Newcastle to do my volunteer work , only to find that I was the only one in that day in the entire office! After work I came back to Durham and picked up Zelda and we went to the university for an end of term summer party. I had a great time speaking with Ian's colleagues and was invited by one of them to continue onto the pub afterwards. Ian and Zelda went home and out I went! After the pub we went on to play a short game of pool and then I was in a taxi and home before midnight! I entered the house and Zelda was up as she had had an accident in the night so she joined us in bed and we all slept soundly until the next morning.
Saturday was absolutely gorgeous. Hot and sunny. We had a 10 am appointment with the builder to pick out our work tops for the kitchen. After visits to three shops we finally found what we were looking for. I unfortunately could not get the work top that cost more than gold and had to settle for formica. It was very inexpensive, so in a year or two we will take it off and replace it with gold dust diamond encrusted work surfaces. It's 100% hygienic.
At 12:00 we went over to my brother and sister in laws house. It was the summer fete at the primary school that their son attends and we all went there together. Zelda had a blast. She bounced on the bouncy castle, crawled on her belly two times for the "laser" trail , had a horse ride...I got bitten by the horse as I was paying the one pound for a 30 second ride! I mistakenly held a lolly pop in the other hand and the horse went right for it, missed it and bit me instead! She , Zelda, not the horse, also did an obstacle course where she bounced up on a hop-pity horse. As her cousin was leaning over her to help her get on it she whacked him in the nose! It didn't bleed, but it gave him a shock which led him to to eat many jelly baby candies!
After the fete we went back to their house for a nice cup of coffee/tea. We were all in the living room watching the newest of Ian's brothers flying invention, when Zelda climbed up the couch and did a sudden flip off of it, herself flying strait off and over the couches top edge to land squarely on her nose! Blood was pouring out! I was unable to hold her little nose properly and my sister in law stepped in to the rescue. She gave Zelda a compress and a small parcel of frozen peas, which Zelda then ate after her nose stopped bleeding! Now that's double tasking. Luckily her nose was not broken and is still nice and small.
That evening Zelda went to sleep very easily. We made and ate our own pizzas, watched a bit of the Dirty Dozen and then went to bed, exhausted! Dealing with blood, even if it isn't your own is very tiring.
Today was a truly magnificent day. 24 degrees, sunny and not a cloud in sight. We decided to pack a picnic and go down by the river. Zelda rode her bicycle all the way there and back. At first she was very scared to ride it and we realized it was because she was afraid of falling and banging her nose again. What she didn't realize was that if she did fall, she would brake an arm, not a nose! This idea did not make her feel any better. After some explanations regarding the phrase " you have to get back on the horse" she promptly changed her mind and rode the bike, fast and furious for the rest of the day! She climbed up hills too and exclaimed " I will not give up"!
Zelda is five. She will not give up. She has spirit and drive. She loves life. She loves herself. I love my life with her in it. So if life gives you blood, make the perfect cocktail!
Friday was a very busy day. I went into Newcastle to do my volunteer work , only to find that I was the only one in that day in the entire office! After work I came back to Durham and picked up Zelda and we went to the university for an end of term summer party. I had a great time speaking with Ian's colleagues and was invited by one of them to continue onto the pub afterwards. Ian and Zelda went home and out I went! After the pub we went on to play a short game of pool and then I was in a taxi and home before midnight! I entered the house and Zelda was up as she had had an accident in the night so she joined us in bed and we all slept soundly until the next morning.
Saturday was absolutely gorgeous. Hot and sunny. We had a 10 am appointment with the builder to pick out our work tops for the kitchen. After visits to three shops we finally found what we were looking for. I unfortunately could not get the work top that cost more than gold and had to settle for formica. It was very inexpensive, so in a year or two we will take it off and replace it with gold dust diamond encrusted work surfaces. It's 100% hygienic.
At 12:00 we went over to my brother and sister in laws house. It was the summer fete at the primary school that their son attends and we all went there together. Zelda had a blast. She bounced on the bouncy castle, crawled on her belly two times for the "laser" trail , had a horse ride...I got bitten by the horse as I was paying the one pound for a 30 second ride! I mistakenly held a lolly pop in the other hand and the horse went right for it, missed it and bit me instead! She , Zelda, not the horse, also did an obstacle course where she bounced up on a hop-pity horse. As her cousin was leaning over her to help her get on it she whacked him in the nose! It didn't bleed, but it gave him a shock which led him to to eat many jelly baby candies!
After the fete we went back to their house for a nice cup of coffee/tea. We were all in the living room watching the newest of Ian's brothers flying invention, when Zelda climbed up the couch and did a sudden flip off of it, herself flying strait off and over the couches top edge to land squarely on her nose! Blood was pouring out! I was unable to hold her little nose properly and my sister in law stepped in to the rescue. She gave Zelda a compress and a small parcel of frozen peas, which Zelda then ate after her nose stopped bleeding! Now that's double tasking. Luckily her nose was not broken and is still nice and small.
That evening Zelda went to sleep very easily. We made and ate our own pizzas, watched a bit of the Dirty Dozen and then went to bed, exhausted! Dealing with blood, even if it isn't your own is very tiring.
Today was a truly magnificent day. 24 degrees, sunny and not a cloud in sight. We decided to pack a picnic and go down by the river. Zelda rode her bicycle all the way there and back. At first she was very scared to ride it and we realized it was because she was afraid of falling and banging her nose again. What she didn't realize was that if she did fall, she would brake an arm, not a nose! This idea did not make her feel any better. After some explanations regarding the phrase " you have to get back on the horse" she promptly changed her mind and rode the bike, fast and furious for the rest of the day! She climbed up hills too and exclaimed " I will not give up"!
Zelda is five. She will not give up. She has spirit and drive. She loves life. She loves herself. I love my life with her in it. So if life gives you blood, make the perfect cocktail!
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