chocolate cake, red wine and espresso, talking into the wee hours of the morning was how last night ended. We spent the evening with some new friends and although we stayed up too late and have been feeling it all day today, it was worth it. C and S grew up in Durham. He is in the music biz and she is in the same art field as I am. Strange, I have never met so many people in one small city all wanting to work in the heritage/art sector.
I spent the weekend drowning my fears regarding our maybe new house at the pub and at home. We received the survey report that we had done and it doesn't look good. There are many problems that need resolving and one of them might be the presence of asbestos, which if that is the case, the buck stops here. In any case the ceilings upstairs are covered in a polystrophome tile and they must be removed as they are a fire hazard regardless of the maybe present asbestos.
Friday night with Zelda in tow we went to the Old Victorian pub. We stayed until 9pm. Zelda was again a big hit. She wore her red flamenco dress for red nose day. I sported a brand new short hair cut.
The daffodils are out in numbers and taking over Durham city! The moon was huge and these floral creatures could be seen reflecting back off the back of the amazing moon. The sky was unnaturally beautiful and I felt privileged to be standing under it. It truly was Amore!
There are no jobs going at the moment and I am not working on any projects for free currently. It is good as I think I must re-take up my house search and go on many more go sees again.
It is still light out until after 7pm now and the sun rises earlier too. I love the long days.
Sunday, 20 March 2011
Friday, 18 March 2011
natures reality
The reality is that time flies when your having fun. It flies when you are busy. It flies when you aren't paying attention. It even flies in the face of disaster and change.
Six months have passed to the day that I landed in Newcastle airport. During this time, not only have I changed, but so has the world around me. I have listened to and watched brave people stand up for their rights and over throw a government in order to have freedom in Egypt. Sadly, another group have tried to do the same, but not to the same end, thus far, in Lybia. Two earthquakes have hit, one in New Zealand and the other in Japan. The latter also experiencing a tsunami.
During these past six months, the changes I have faced and made compare very little to what has occurred in nature. I find it very hard to tell my story when right now, as I write people are going through horrible and inhuman atrocities. I am powerless, and for a control freak that hurts! I find it difficult to comprehend madness in man and nature. I keep trying to find the perfectness in it all, but I am failing.
For me, my life is still beautiful, fun and fantastic, but now there is also a small corner that is cracked with a hair line fracture like a piece of glass after being hit with a small stone. Maybe this is the silver lining. Maybe the pain and sadness I am feeling are good and will help me see things differently. Help me make a difference. Help me to behave differently towards the people I love and the people who are strangers in the street. Help me take more risks or perhaps less where neccessary.
Tonight I will celebrate six months in my favorite pub with my husband and daughter. I will also celebrate life and the reality of change. That is perfect!
Six months have passed to the day that I landed in Newcastle airport. During this time, not only have I changed, but so has the world around me. I have listened to and watched brave people stand up for their rights and over throw a government in order to have freedom in Egypt. Sadly, another group have tried to do the same, but not to the same end, thus far, in Lybia. Two earthquakes have hit, one in New Zealand and the other in Japan. The latter also experiencing a tsunami.
During these past six months, the changes I have faced and made compare very little to what has occurred in nature. I find it very hard to tell my story when right now, as I write people are going through horrible and inhuman atrocities. I am powerless, and for a control freak that hurts! I find it difficult to comprehend madness in man and nature. I keep trying to find the perfectness in it all, but I am failing.
For me, my life is still beautiful, fun and fantastic, but now there is also a small corner that is cracked with a hair line fracture like a piece of glass after being hit with a small stone. Maybe this is the silver lining. Maybe the pain and sadness I am feeling are good and will help me see things differently. Help me make a difference. Help me to behave differently towards the people I love and the people who are strangers in the street. Help me take more risks or perhaps less where neccessary.
Tonight I will celebrate six months in my favorite pub with my husband and daughter. I will also celebrate life and the reality of change. That is perfect!
Friday, 11 March 2011
and still
Zeldas 5th birthday has come and gone.
The last of the Arab Artist project at BALTIC, has come and gone.
The alarm at 6am every morning, has come and gone.
Laundry, changing linens, towels, and clothes, have come and gone.
Making meals, shopping for food and underpants with kitty cats, have come and gone.
Many showers, baths, and sleeps, have come and gone.
The Cathedral, I pass every day still. Still it is beautiful. Still it changes with every light, cloud and my passing mood.
The river bank still grows, swells and shrinks according to the rain.
The large playing field along side the river bank is sometimes covered in frost, sunshine and now flowers. Still it amazes me with its breath taking strokes of color and light.
My boot heels slowly grow lower with the miles I walk still every day, enjoying still every moment and step I take.
Today was different. Today was still perfect. I worked at the Oriental Museum.
It is raining out still. It was sunny this morning with bright blue skies. Still, I am happy.
The future days will come and go, and still I will love them.
The last of the Arab Artist project at BALTIC, has come and gone.
The alarm at 6am every morning, has come and gone.
Laundry, changing linens, towels, and clothes, have come and gone.
Making meals, shopping for food and underpants with kitty cats, have come and gone.
Many showers, baths, and sleeps, have come and gone.
The Cathedral, I pass every day still. Still it is beautiful. Still it changes with every light, cloud and my passing mood.
The river bank still grows, swells and shrinks according to the rain.
The large playing field along side the river bank is sometimes covered in frost, sunshine and now flowers. Still it amazes me with its breath taking strokes of color and light.
My boot heels slowly grow lower with the miles I walk still every day, enjoying still every moment and step I take.
Today was different. Today was still perfect. I worked at the Oriental Museum.
It is raining out still. It was sunny this morning with bright blue skies. Still, I am happy.
The future days will come and go, and still I will love them.
Monday, 7 March 2011
The Weekend
Whether you are turning fifty or five, tears seem to be inevitable. In our case, turning five brought tears to not only the birthday girl, but also some of her guests. It seemed that the noise was just too much...too much fun, too much shouting, running and partying....at fifty, these are things we want to be doing, not saying, " please can you quiet down, I want silence" like Zelda did at the table while eating cake.
Friday was Christmas all over again. I wrapped what seemed like hundreds of presents for Zeldas birthday. Presents arrived from Australia, Scotland and England. I hid them in the garage so little fingers could not find them.
Saturday was spent coloring, cutting and assembling paper foxes, owls and snakes from the story of the Gruffalo. At 4pm I went over to the theater to decorate the room that the party was to take place in after the play on Sunday. I spent an hour and a half setting up the games area, the table for eating cake and the adult sitting space. I hung banners, snakes and a large game of pin the wart on the Gruffalo. I was very satisfied with the finished product. The room looked great.
Sunday morning Zelda crept into our bedroom and we gave her lots of birthday snuggles. I realized though that she was not actually born until ten PM, so even though it was her birthday, it was not her birthday yet. This thought felt very strange and caused a twinge in my belly! It all came clearly back to me. Our miracle baby was one minute inside and the next, outside.
Zelda dressed in her new purple dress, princess sash and crown and party shoes. We all went downstairs and opened presents. She was very happy with all of her gifts, but on in particular knocked her socks off, even if it wasn't a castle! She jumped for joy over the new doll house and four rooms of furnishings.
I jumped for joy too! I could not wait to get my hands on the furniture and start rearranging also...I was silenced to the side lines to be only a consultant and a decorator! ( when she is asleep, then I will get my chance!)
12:30 rolled around and we piled into the car with the two cakes, balloons and music. WE were off to meet 8 girlfriends at the Gala theater. We took them to see the play of The Gruffalos Child. It was enjoyed by everyone, and thank goodness no one cried or screamed for "MOMMY" because they were scared.
Upstairs at 2:30 for the cake and games. All of the parents joined us at this point and it was a lovely rest of the afternoon. I of course was very stressed the entire time. I felt completely responsible for each and every childs emotional state, and if they were not happy, cranky, whiny or crying, I felt a pang inside.
By 3:30 it was time to clean up and say thank you to the guests and go home and collapse! Unfortunately we could not. Zelda received presents from all of the guests, so it was Christmas again for the second time that day. Everyone was so thoughtful and clearly spent a great deal of time on selecting or making the presents.
In the evening, Zelda exclaimed I am five now, I will put myself to sleep. And she did.
We both promptly put ourselves to bed right afterwards.
Celebrating and sharing with friends and family made this weekend just perfect!
Friday was Christmas all over again. I wrapped what seemed like hundreds of presents for Zeldas birthday. Presents arrived from Australia, Scotland and England. I hid them in the garage so little fingers could not find them.
Saturday was spent coloring, cutting and assembling paper foxes, owls and snakes from the story of the Gruffalo. At 4pm I went over to the theater to decorate the room that the party was to take place in after the play on Sunday. I spent an hour and a half setting up the games area, the table for eating cake and the adult sitting space. I hung banners, snakes and a large game of pin the wart on the Gruffalo. I was very satisfied with the finished product. The room looked great.
Sunday morning Zelda crept into our bedroom and we gave her lots of birthday snuggles. I realized though that she was not actually born until ten PM, so even though it was her birthday, it was not her birthday yet. This thought felt very strange and caused a twinge in my belly! It all came clearly back to me. Our miracle baby was one minute inside and the next, outside.
Zelda dressed in her new purple dress, princess sash and crown and party shoes. We all went downstairs and opened presents. She was very happy with all of her gifts, but on in particular knocked her socks off, even if it wasn't a castle! She jumped for joy over the new doll house and four rooms of furnishings.
I jumped for joy too! I could not wait to get my hands on the furniture and start rearranging also...I was silenced to the side lines to be only a consultant and a decorator! ( when she is asleep, then I will get my chance!)
12:30 rolled around and we piled into the car with the two cakes, balloons and music. WE were off to meet 8 girlfriends at the Gala theater. We took them to see the play of The Gruffalos Child. It was enjoyed by everyone, and thank goodness no one cried or screamed for "MOMMY" because they were scared.
Upstairs at 2:30 for the cake and games. All of the parents joined us at this point and it was a lovely rest of the afternoon. I of course was very stressed the entire time. I felt completely responsible for each and every childs emotional state, and if they were not happy, cranky, whiny or crying, I felt a pang inside.
By 3:30 it was time to clean up and say thank you to the guests and go home and collapse! Unfortunately we could not. Zelda received presents from all of the guests, so it was Christmas again for the second time that day. Everyone was so thoughtful and clearly spent a great deal of time on selecting or making the presents.
In the evening, Zelda exclaimed I am five now, I will put myself to sleep. And she did.
We both promptly put ourselves to bed right afterwards.
Celebrating and sharing with friends and family made this weekend just perfect!
Thursday, 3 March 2011
Thursday
Clumsiness, clinginess, sleep deprivation and loss of memory, like where did I just put my hat?, all have one thing in common....ME.
For the 5th night in a row Zelda has come into the bedroom and woken me to snuggle her back to sleep. My darling, of course, sweetie alright, grumble, ok love, go back to your bed- I will take you, you are not coming into mine.......all met with warm tight hugs and unmovable words of how much I am loved....it is hard to say no, so I just go.
So, what kind of a thank you is tripping on the curb, flying across the side walk and skidding on my hands to a halt, while people look on? My body aches, my neck is compressed, my already bad shoulder is hanging limp and my wrist feels like it has been run over by a bicycle. Love definitely hurts! High heel boots don't help matters either.
I am so happy today. I am so glad I went to look at the other house. It was only a few minutes from the house we are buying. It is facing a beautiful field. I saw a sheep on it while in the back yard. The woman kept two chickens, I always wanted chickens. She on the other hand, can keep her house. It was falling apart, run down and not at all what the pictures showed. The road was visible and the noise audible. It did not have the feeling of a well cared for home. She will never get the money she is asking, and now I am certain that the one we are buying is the RIGHT ONE for us. How could I have ever dreamt of straying from the French family who will be our neighbors to be?????
After viewing the house, I received a lovely text from my husband. We met up in town and had an intimate lunch together in a tiny Italian joint. We each had pasta and an espresso. We have never done this before, but we will be working it into our routine for sure.
I stayed in town the entire day. At 3:00 I picked up Zelda and went to the after school coffee club. Our usual companions did not come today. I nursed my wounds at a table by myself for a bit and then another friend of mine arrived and we sat and had a lovely conversation. I had not seen her for some time. Afterwards, Zelda and I caught the bus back home.
I made Zelda her dinner, Teddy Bear Chicken, peas and corn and a bowl of blueberries. We snuggled on the couch and then it was time for bed. Two stories, a bit of Someday My Prince Will Come and snores could be heard. Perfect.
Time check-7:58pm, Zelda happy and a sleep, me sipping some vino and feeling ever so happy and excited about the future!
For the 5th night in a row Zelda has come into the bedroom and woken me to snuggle her back to sleep. My darling, of course, sweetie alright, grumble, ok love, go back to your bed- I will take you, you are not coming into mine.......all met with warm tight hugs and unmovable words of how much I am loved....it is hard to say no, so I just go.
So, what kind of a thank you is tripping on the curb, flying across the side walk and skidding on my hands to a halt, while people look on? My body aches, my neck is compressed, my already bad shoulder is hanging limp and my wrist feels like it has been run over by a bicycle. Love definitely hurts! High heel boots don't help matters either.
I am so happy today. I am so glad I went to look at the other house. It was only a few minutes from the house we are buying. It is facing a beautiful field. I saw a sheep on it while in the back yard. The woman kept two chickens, I always wanted chickens. She on the other hand, can keep her house. It was falling apart, run down and not at all what the pictures showed. The road was visible and the noise audible. It did not have the feeling of a well cared for home. She will never get the money she is asking, and now I am certain that the one we are buying is the RIGHT ONE for us. How could I have ever dreamt of straying from the French family who will be our neighbors to be?????
After viewing the house, I received a lovely text from my husband. We met up in town and had an intimate lunch together in a tiny Italian joint. We each had pasta and an espresso. We have never done this before, but we will be working it into our routine for sure.
I stayed in town the entire day. At 3:00 I picked up Zelda and went to the after school coffee club. Our usual companions did not come today. I nursed my wounds at a table by myself for a bit and then another friend of mine arrived and we sat and had a lovely conversation. I had not seen her for some time. Afterwards, Zelda and I caught the bus back home.
I made Zelda her dinner, Teddy Bear Chicken, peas and corn and a bowl of blueberries. We snuggled on the couch and then it was time for bed. Two stories, a bit of Someday My Prince Will Come and snores could be heard. Perfect.
Time check-7:58pm, Zelda happy and a sleep, me sipping some vino and feeling ever so happy and excited about the future!
Wednesday, 2 March 2011
Hump Day
All week I have been planning, shopping, sourcing, creating, wrapping, buying and wishing. Yesterday evening one cancellation came in. Not bad, 7 out of 8 friends are coming. Four more days until my baby is no longer a baby, but a little girl. Five years will have passed since her entry into the world. I have less than five days to get her party right. The pressure is on!
Yesterday in the middle of all the birthday hoopla, I found another house, better, bigger, nicer, more beautiful and more expensive. We are in the middle of getting a mortgage for the one we made an offer on. In England you can drop out so long as no contract has been exchanged. This means that right up til the last moment either party can back down, leaving one or more parties to have to start all over again. I feel bad, but I think this new house may be the right house.
On Sunday we visited the other house with my in laws. I did not feel good. I felt sad somehow and not as comfortable as I had in the past. It needs a lot of work to make it what we want. A blank canvas is good, but if I can find one already the way we want, then that is better. I decided to look at the listing on Monday. Bingo, another house, around the corner from the other one. Same area, but better. I have made a RDV to view it tomorrow. We shall see.
Yesterday I met with the old chair of the PTA at Zeldas school to take over the role. I was handed a red box with documents, I felt like a character in Yes Minister! More planning, creating and organizing!
In the middle of all this activity, I am cleaning, cooking , food shopping, bathing, dropping off and picking up and keeping on top of the social calendar.
I feel like a crazy mama getting ready to take office. Spring has sprung and so have I...up up and away, perfect!
Yesterday in the middle of all the birthday hoopla, I found another house, better, bigger, nicer, more beautiful and more expensive. We are in the middle of getting a mortgage for the one we made an offer on. In England you can drop out so long as no contract has been exchanged. This means that right up til the last moment either party can back down, leaving one or more parties to have to start all over again. I feel bad, but I think this new house may be the right house.
On Sunday we visited the other house with my in laws. I did not feel good. I felt sad somehow and not as comfortable as I had in the past. It needs a lot of work to make it what we want. A blank canvas is good, but if I can find one already the way we want, then that is better. I decided to look at the listing on Monday. Bingo, another house, around the corner from the other one. Same area, but better. I have made a RDV to view it tomorrow. We shall see.
Yesterday I met with the old chair of the PTA at Zeldas school to take over the role. I was handed a red box with documents, I felt like a character in Yes Minister! More planning, creating and organizing!
In the middle of all this activity, I am cleaning, cooking , food shopping, bathing, dropping off and picking up and keeping on top of the social calendar.
I feel like a crazy mama getting ready to take office. Spring has sprung and so have I...up up and away, perfect!
Tuesday, 1 March 2011
The Weekend
 |
| Sunday Lunch at Rose Tree Inn Pub |
Friday Menu
Boiled smoked gammon served with carrots, potato and peas. Home made apple pie for dessert.
This meal was made by my mother in law and sister in law.
Saturday Menu
Appetizer- Rugby served with chips and hummus and vegetable sticks.
Two slow roasted legs of lamb served with mint sauce, mashed potato, green and broad beans. Fresh fruit and cheese for dessert.
This meal was prepared by me.
While the meat was in the oven ( a total of 6 hours), my husband, Zelda and I, all went to the cinema to see Tangled.
Sunday Menu
Big breakfast of scrambled eggs with smoked salmon, croissants, baguette, melon, juice and coffee, followedd by a visit tothe new house.
Late lunch at the pub ( see photo). I ate steak and ale pie with a shortcrust pastry, mixed steamed in season vegies, hand cut chips and a hot brownie with ice cream for dessert.
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