Thursday

Disappointments and explanations. Two very difficult words to understand, be it an adult or child. They are strong words. When pronounced they carry weight in their consonants and vowels. As a noun or an adjective they are heavy. In time though, they gain lightness and more meaning for those who have had or felt them.

Today was one of those kinds of days, not for me, but for my almost 5 year old daughter. As her mother, I feel what she feels because I have an innate desire to protect her, to incubate her from  those kinds of experiences, yet to the contrary as well, as a mother I must let her have them in order to learn and grow, to feel, judge, understand and ultimately to be able to carry out her own explanations and disappointments.

Trying to explain why one person chooses to be friends with someone and not another was a real challenge. Why can't we be friends with every body? smacked me in the face with her hurt eyes and lack of understanding tears. Her good friend had been invited to another childs house for a play date, and she was excluded. This child is not a good friend of Zeldas, but they are friendly, although Zelda said she does not always play nice with her. This too she could not understand.

I tried many explanations, but the dissapointment did not subside. Finally I decided to put it in terms of something that I knew she really liked, and understood, dessert!  I compared icecream, cookies, cake and lemmon pie. The latter being something she has never really tried, but  still does not want to eat it. This I said was like being friends with people. Some days you want icecream, some days cookies, some days both together and sometimes none of the above. She felt better after this explanation.

More disapointments followed through out the evening and culminated in a screaming fit of sadness. When she was finished, and I again made some more explanations , she was back to her self again.

Right now it is raging with wind and rain. It sounds like the roof is going to blow off. I know it will not. I know tomorrow will be a nice day, with perhaps sunshine, and if not tomorrow soon there after. I hope that Zelda is learning to feel and know these things too.

Time check, 8:52. Zelda fast a sleep on the couch downstairs with the fire going and the lights out. She was trying to stay awake to see her cousins, but there is tomorrow, and tomorrow and tomorrow. They are now living here. Chinese chicken soup and noodles wait in the kitchen to celebrate the start of a new Year. It's all perfect!